The Dumbest Valentine’s Day Quiz Ever

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23

Real quick – I have two announcements: First, this year’s Grassland Restoration Network workshop will be in Lawrence, Kansas on September 10-11, 2025. Second, our Platte River Prairies Public Field Day will be July 12, 2025. More details on both of these will come later.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Each year, on February 14, we celebrate Saint Valentine, who loaded up a big boat with snakes and took them to Ireland in the year 1978. When he arrived, the population was so thrilled with his gift they threw loads of flowers at him. A month later, they got tired of the snakes and asked Saint Patrick to get rid of them. Today, we continue the tradition by giving each other flowers on St. Valentine’s day and snakes on St. Patrick’s day.

To celebrate this year, I thought I’d give you a bunch of flowers, but in the form of a Prairie Ecologist quiz. Enjoy!

1. Why is this plant named “purple coneflower” when it is clearly not shaped like a cone? If anything, it’s a “domeflower”.

    A. Webster’s dictionary defines a cone as a solid generated by rotating a right triangle about one of its legs.

    B. That sounds like triangle bullying.

    C. Domeflower is too hard to say. Also, it sounds a lot like “dumbflower” and we’ve established we are anti-bullying.

    D. I think the “cone” might be referring to the similarity between the spiky flower center and the cones of conifer trees.

    E. Oh.

    F. Yeah, that actually makes some sense.

    G. I tried making a cone but just ended up with a spinning triangle. I think the dictionary is wrong.

    .

    2. Why are many penstemon species also referred to as “beardtongues”?

    A. Because they have what look like hairy tongues sticking out of them.

    B. Gross. But a beard tongue would be a tongue hanging out of a beard, right? Those like like tongues with beards. The flowers should be called tonguebeards.

    C. Here’s something interesting – the more times you write the word “tongue” the less sure you get about the spelling.

    D. That is interesting!

    E. How is this a quiz?

    .

    3. As you know, I’m well known for my objection to naming species “False ____”, as if they’re a poor substitute for something we like better. What would be a better name for “prairie false dandelion”?

    A. False chrysanthemum?

    B. I don’t think you’re understanding the point of this question.

    C. Prairie sunshine?

    D. Wait a second, that’s actually a great name! Have we accomplished something here? Wow.

    E. “well known” seems like a stretch.

    .

    4. Why do people hate dandelions so much?

    A. Because they’re not native to North America. They come from Eurasia and have spread all over this continent.

    B. And nobody sees the irony in that?

    C. I think some people do.

    D. So, we don’t like them because they become dominant and squeeze others out of the places they used to live?

    E. Are we still talking about dandelions?

    F. Actually, dandelions usually don’t cause ecological problems. At least around here, they just kind of fill in empty spaces between other plants and provide some early season color and nectar before a lot of our native flowers start blooming.

    G. That sounds nice.

    .

    5. What are the tiny insects crawling around on these common milkweed blossoms?

    A. Hang on, are you trying to sneak some insect facts into this post about flowers?

    B. No. Answer the question.

    D. They’re thrips – tiny little insects that feed on flowers (except for the species that feed on fungus or are predatory on other tiny insects) and usually don’t do more than minor cosmetic damage.

    E. I don’t even see any insects.

    F. They’re really small. there’s one at about 10 o’clock on the flower on the right. Click on the image to see them better.

    G. You skipped C.

    H. Dang it.

    .

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    ANSWERS:

    Want to check your work? Here are the correct answers to each of the questions:

    1. B
    2. E
    3. D
    4. F
    5. C

    On Writing

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    10

    Writing is a difficult task, even for those of us who do a lot of it. One of the most important components of good writing is preparation. It’s vitally important to have a plan before starting. An outline, for example, that lays out the main points, arranged in a logical order, can help ensure your writing will be organized, cogent, and easy to follow.

    This 3-year-old photo of a damsel bug (Nabidae) on foxtail barley (Hordeum jubatum) has become one of my favorites.

    Without an outline or similar preparation, it’s easy to go off on tangents. Have you ever noticed that the word “tangent” is very similar to the word “tangy”? This past Christmas, I gave my dad a gift that involved him reading a humorous script I wrote (I’m a writer, you see). When he got to the word “tangy”, he read it like, “tan-jee” and got the laughter he was hoping to get. From now on, I think everyone in our family will be pronouncing it that same way. I invite you to join us.

    As I’ve gotten better at writing, I think I’ve also become better at evaluating the writing of others. I can usually tell, for example, when someone is writing without having first taken the time to think about what they want to write. Or, as another example, when they’ve tried to come up with ideas, failed, and decided to just wing it. It’s pretty obvious, actually, when that happens.

    Frogs don’t really have beards. Once, though, I was photographing a frog at the edge of a lake and the way it was sitting in some frothy bubbles made it look like it had a beard. Gosh, that was funny.

    Doesn’t it look like this frog has a bubble beard? Hilarious.

    For example, a writer who is just winging it will often lose track of their story and put thoughts completely out of order. In especially egregious cases, they might forget to remove paragraphs they wrote before fully settling on a topic and then fail to catch the error during a rushed proofreading attempt, possibly because they’re on deadline, perhaps self-imposed, and place speed above quality.

    I just looked up the words “tangent” and “tangy” and it turns out they aren’t actually closely related at all. Tangent is derived from Latin and tangy probably comes from an old Proto-Germanic (whatever THAT is) term that means “to bite.” That doesn’t seem right, does it? Languages are weird.

    As a proficient, experienced, and skilled writer, I also know my limitations. Some days, prepared or not, I can tell my brain just isn’t up to the task of writing. Most of the time, I’m fortunate to have the freedom to wait until my muse comes, as they say. Other times, though, I just try to distract my readers with nice photographs and hope for the best.

    Windmills are sure great photo subjects, huh? Especially on a foggy day with Sandhills prairie in the background. Also, if you look closely, there are two birds on the windmill. The higher one is a meadowlark but I can’t tell what the other one is.

    Did you know muses are women? Or anyway, they started out as mythological goddesses. It’s nice of them to have stuck around this long and to help those of us who sometimes struggle to think of something to write. I’m good at writing.

    Welp, I think that’s the end.

    Actually, there’s one more thing. I’m very fortunate (and grateful!) that I continue to get new subscribers to this blog. I often think about those new subscribers and how important it is for me to make a positive early impression on them.

    I think about that a lot.